You know what’s harder than parallel parking? Getting someone on Bumble to message you back.
Believe me, I’ve tried it ALL.
- The dry “hey what’s up” method.
- The painstaking “replying something clever to a prompt in their bio that took me 5 hours to come up with” method.
- The overused but classic “your dog is adorable what’s his name” method
Still - nothing. The occasional conversation that leads to a dead end. The unwanted d*** pick. Nothing to write home about.
So after swearing off Bumble 63432 times this year and wondering if I should just move to a cabin with 15 stray cats, I knew SOMETHING needed to change. Which is when I got the idea: Why don’t I try something no one else has tried? Something that makes me stand out from the crowd. Something a little more “Papaya.”
What if I use an eco-friendly pickup line as a first message?
So I set off to find eco pickup lines. Then, I sent them to 125 men. Here’s what went down:
1 - The ones who hit back with FIRE REPLIES
And I mean, hotter-than-a-California-forest-fire replies. These guys took what I gave them, and came back with high quality comebacks. Well played sirs, well played.
2 - The ones who… didn’t really get it?
When going with a niche pickup line, you run the risk of it backfiring. Which is precisely what happened a few times throughout my experiment. Now, I can’t blame the guys who didn’t get it. Climate change related topics like geothermal heating aren’t exactly hot (see what I did there 😉 ) so I’m not offended in the least. Not. In. The. Least. Ok fine maybe a little.
3 - The ones who came armed with FACTS
The Earth dying is no laughing matter. At least, not according to these guys. They shot down my pickup lines with cold, hard, facts. And honestly, I’m not mad about it! I actually think it’s pretty hot.
4 - And then there were the ones here for the wrong reasons
No. Just no. Security?
So did it work, you ask? Are eco-pickup lines the secret to getting people to actually pay attention to you on dating apps?
My conclusion is: yes, sustainability IS sexy. But sustainable pickup lines? That’s open for debate.
What about you? Would you ever do an experiment like this? Let us know in the comments!